Sanctuary!

another saturday night cozy in my disaster area of an apartment. i am not the world's best housekeeper; i always forget the basic lesson that you must straighten up right away or the job will get so big that you won't want to do it at all. as a result, most places i live or work look like a bomb went off in a library.

in any case, i slept late to make up for all the sleep i didn't get this week. another rough one too; at least it looks like i'll have a lot of work to do (and bill) for at least another couple of months.

i only managed to leave the apartment to go to the gym. spent the rest of the day watching law and order: criminal intent off of the dvr, and bits and pieces of various football games.

meanwhile i've compiled quite a stack of books to keep me from reading the brothers karamazov, which distresses me. i'm going through the highlights of susan cooper's the dark is rising series, then i have a book on writer's block my shrink gave me, then nora ephron's i hate my neck, then who knows what else.

it's distressing because i used to read good books all the time. two summers ago i read anna karennina and loved it. my whole life--well, since i was fifteen--i've read big, important (& self-important) books and loved them. so why do i need to only read escapism now?

i've decided that i'm stressed and unhappy and that's why i can't summon up the strength to read hard things. so i need to remove some of this stress and as much of this unhappiness as possible.

easy. sure.

"date" tomorrow night as we give long-standing admirer a third chance. yeah, that will help relieve stress all right.

the curious incident of the dog in the night-time

i've been staying up late this week watching "law & order: criminal intent." i watched a few episodes back when it first came on the air but never made a commitment to it.

but i had nothing else to do on saturday (& besides i was hiding from the world, life, and myself in roughly that order), so i tuned into the marathon on USA.

i like vincent d'onofrio, have so for years, especially since his bravura turn in the famous "subway" episode of "homicide." it helps that his bobby goren is another lineal descendent of sherlock holmes; i spent december re-reading the collected holmes stories. apparently i have a weakness for taking brilliant but emotionally distant men to bed with me.

& now of course you get chris noth on "l&o:ci" playing his original l&o character. though i have to say he looked better in mr. big's armani...

as for my own mr. big, the banker i had a great if chaste first date a long while ago and has since been travelling the world, once again my friday plans with him washed out: he's in london for the weekend.

oh well. i have my big shaggy bobby goren. and it's going to be so warm tomorrow that i may have to run out and get a pedicure.